Interestingly, this last half of 2014 is bringing about many different forms of transitions in my own life. Change in job, school change for Mr. Matthew and unfortunately, right now, body changes as I move into a new "time" of life! All have required inward searching on how I process forward. All with the heart to be where God wants me to be, even if it is kicking and screaming at times. Because of some really tough places several years ago, I believe God has given me more peace to move through different transitions, showing me more clearly where I need to be and where I need to move on from. I am grateful this year for many changes which have brought new relationships, opportunities, and expanded the places I am currently moving through. The riches of transition for me is knowing I am where I should be and no matter how the changes come. It is a peace through the process.
This "community" post is from 3 different women. I actually pray over and consider the women I ask from stalking them over a period of time....LOL....ok, I guess that sounded a little scary? I have a great respect for each of these incredible women, knowing all they face and deal with through this space called life. I hope something touches the lives of all who "peek" in!
Michelle Metzger Niehouse
When I
began writing this I thought I knew exactly which transition topic I would
write about, but my mind began jumping to so many incidences of transition my
life has taken and what I've realized is that life is simply a series of
transitions with some downtime sprinkled in along the way.
My entire childhood I knew exactly what I wanted to be, and what I wanted to become. What I became was 19 and pregnant with no college degree. We married prior to my daughter arriving and struggled daily with finances, time, marriage, and life in general. The day my daughter, Summer, arrived became my most profound transition that has and will carry through the rest of my life. The transition into a life that is no longer just about me. Every choice, every decision now had double the joy but also double the consequences. I learned that the “want to’s” in life change to the “have to’s” and that they are generally very different. But, there’s a lesson that comes with each transition and what I learned during this time is a question I still ask myself when life seems to be coming at me from every angle. “I know I can’t change it all, but I can do something. What can I do right now, what change or action can be done today to help tomorrow?” This relieves that overwhelming sinking feeling, and little by little the big struggles seem to be put at bay.
Let’s jump forward to 12 yrs later to when my husband and I decided to part ways and divorce. I’m blessed that my ex and I have always been and still are pretty good friends, but every divorce gets ugly because its divorce and divorce is ugly! The transition to single mom/divorced woman is brutal and humbling. The most pivotal piece of advice I received was this… Don’t involve yourself with divorce groups or others that speak out about or allow speaking against the divorced spouse. I’m grateful for this advice because instead it made me focus on the only thing I could change – myself. I learned more about what truly makes or breaks a marriage throughout the divorce process than I ever did throughout my 12 yrs of marriage. When I focused on my faults and downfalls it alleviated the resentment and bitterness toward my ex and I grew as a person and as a mother. My ex and I could focus on the transition to separated parenthood without emotional baggage getting in the way. Our daughter was the only tie that now and forever would bind us and the only tie that mattered. The past was in the past and we were and are able to parent in a rational manner.
I remarried about 4 yrs ago to an absolute wonderful man who was the catalyst that lead me to Christ. I’m thankful for the lessons I learned and reflections I made during my divorce, it truly has been pivotal in my second marriage. We live by the verse that we are a “strand of three cords, not quickly broken” as Christ as our center. A new marriage is a transition all its own but it was the transition for my barely teenage daughter that was the hardest. Teenage girls are difficult enough, but throw in a new marriage, a step-dad; a toddler step-brother and you have a hormonal tsunami! And she did NOT want to transition. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Joe, she feared change and didn’t want to share mom and she showed it daily. Our pastor gave us the best advice on our wedding day, advice I never believed would work with a stubborn husband and equally stubborn teen. He simply told my husband to hug my daughter everyday, and most days he wouldn’t want to hug her, and she wouldn’t want the hug but that’s when to give it. It was rather amusing watching the eye-rolling and teeth-gnashing. The quick pat-on-the-back hugs or the tight squeezes that weren’t tight because of love but rather the mutual look of “I hope I’m squeezing so hard it hurts…) But then something amazing happened. After about a year or so of uncomfortable, unwanted hugs my husband came home from work one day, kissed me hello and too tired and spent to bear another awkward act of love he instead just walked past my daughter. That’s when our miracle came. She immediately jumped up and asked “Um where’s my hug???” She then walked over and gave him his first genuine loving hug looked up at him and said “I love you Joe”. Then she turned and went back to whatever she was doing. That moment will forever be in my heart; because it was that moment my daughter finally transitioned.
We have
recently been blessed with our amazing Grace, our now 10 month old baby
girl. The day we brought Gracie home
from the hospital my daughter summed it all up!
All 5 of us were sitting on the couch watching our little bundle open
her eyes and my daughter said “It all makes sense now; ya know how it all
happened to get here. It finally feels right, we are officially a family”
Transitions are a fact of life, a necessary evil, and a joy bestowed on us by our amazing Creator. It’s a series of checks and balances. A myriad of unanswered prayers, and prayers unknown. I think it’s these moments in life that the apostle Paul was speaking about in Romans when he wrote the passage to the right...
Brandee Courtney Rowles
I don’t know about you but
this does not conjure up a happy image, memory or visualization for me at all!
In fact I dread transition, I know that if I’m not just coming out of one, or
in one then I better buckle up because I’m getting ready to be in one. (gggrrr insert angry face here)
I have never heard of
anyone saying, “Hey let’s transition from this awesome party to the next one.”
Or “I’m transitioning from that wonderful executive position to this amazing
presidential position.” DARN YOU WEBSTER!!!!!!
That word was not born of happy, smiley usage to get you from one
magnificent place to another, rather it was created to soften the blow of what
is real……to be sensitive to the reality that your circumstances are CRAP and
you will be moving out of that in to something hopefully less CRAPPY! There I said
it and I feel oh so much better, sorry for my vulgar language but sometimes the
occasion calls for it.
I have an 18 year old who
graduated high school this past May 2 teenage boys who start high school in 2
weeks that barely have the hygiene skills of a wild ferret and who for the most
part graze my kitchen around the clock like Templeton at the carnival, I know
I’m not the only one but as I grumble and groan behind that is a mommy who
cannot grasp this current transition, the place where I am letting my children
find independence without me and who has to find a way to let go and let God!
For the past 11 months 2 weeks and 3 days I have been whole heartedly trying to
teach all 3 of my kids to wash and fold clothes, load a dishwasher properly,
make a sandwich in crisis (ya know when I’m at work), save a penny, know how to
operate an ATM and maybe just maybe NOT have to use Netflix as their current
employer. Well I am happy to report that all is going almost as planned. Although while in the midst of this
transition of getting young teens to be young adults I have found that I might
be losing my place of being needed. God
is bringing me to a place of loneliness that I must find peace in after all I
made this bed right?………oh yeah “teach kids to make beds……….check!!”
TRANSITION – nope I really
don’t particularly like the word but it is the only one I know that fits these
moments in life so well without it sounding sad or abrasive, maybe it’s not so
bad….the word or the event of it all……maybe just maybe TRANSITION and I can get
along, maybe we could live together if I would only realize that in order to
transition I need to get still, look up find my focal point and move toward it
with all my heart and soul knowing full well that it only means getting to a better
place than where I am right now. Don’t
look back, there is no future in the past.
So while we transition from grieving and mourning to a new normal in our
lives, or transitioning from a broken marriage, financial hardship, loss of
job, from old home to new home or from one season of life with children to the
next, God is already there, waiting for us to show up with His arms
outstretched saying, “Come on, I’ve been waiting and you’re doing
a great job.”
Well lookie there, I sure
didn’t see that coming, me in a good transition.
Christy O'Connor
Before I jump in to the subject of
"transitions" I first want to thank Pam for asking me to be a part of
this project, I am humbled and honored to be able to share what God has done in
and through me during all of the transitions in life.
So....here we go.
If you were to look up on Wikipedia, transition, it would probably show you a picture of my family. We are people who seem to live in a state of constant transition. As a child of a military man, it was inevitable that we would move in order to be where the government needed my dad. So, from the get-go, life has always been a transition. But, it didn't really stop there....when my parents divorced my mom and I began this journey that would seem to be bring about transition over and over again. It was either in search for happiness, a better job, needing assistance from family/friends, or just to be closer to the ocean. My mom is a native Californian, so she needs her cement city close to the waves. But I digress.....That nomadic/transitional lifestyle, usually every 3 years, has continued on into my adulthood and is something that I actually enjoy. For me when we transition there is excitement in seeing new places, meeting new people, and beginning life with a new start. While that is exciting on one end....a part of me longs to have those friendships that have lasted for decades....those "I went to kindergarten with them, or they were my best friend in high school." And because we have transitioned so much, I can say, many of my friendships tend to be very season....which is one reason why I have not always embraced transitions. There have been times when I've kicked and screamed and threw a fit like a 3 year old when they haven't gotten that special toy they really want. Those transitions, I began to question God and almost felt like He had abandoned me. I felt alone. I had no one. But on the other side of that transition, I can say, He was saving me. Change is inevitable....transition for me brings change.....I can either embrace it or I can push against it. I determine what joy or pain I get in those transitions.
If I were to pin-point the most life changing transition that has happened in my life....I would say that it was in 2010 when my husband was called to go into a job that would take our family on the road for almost a full year. Each week we lived in a different city/state. Some states we were in for a 2-4 week period, but the city changed. So on Sunday's we would pack up our 5th wheel trailer and get everything situated for the long drive to the next city. Sometimes we would pull into a truck stop and sleep in trailer....which was a lesson in itself....when you don't have the most efficient tools to succeed...there can be frustration...we had a 5 gallon gas generator that would give us heat for about 5 hours...so, my husband had to wake up to change it out....good morning cold air!! Then we'd be up and back on the road to make it to our next destination. We'd get there, get the trailer all balanced and ready....we'd unpack the dishes (packed away so they didn't break during the drive), hung the TV back up, and pulled out the toys for our 3 year old. We'd get all situated and settled when it was time to get packed up again....usually 4 days later. Annnnndddd, we're off to another city. This may sound crazy, but there was some of that that we truly enjoyed. I enjoyed being able to see the different cities and check out the children's museums....explored the different foods and cultures....and all that seemed glamourous. So you may be asking why was this transition so life changing.....welllll....for those of you who know me...I have worked outside the home since I was around 14. When we were called to travel on the road, I was working full-time as a Children's Ministry Pastor for a church. Ministry was my life....my calling....my passion. But God chose that time to show me how my priorities were so out of balance. First of all....I transitioned from putting God after ministry and family....to now He's my first priority....don't get me wrong...I'm not perfect with this and there are days I don't give him my first....but He is my first. Then, I realized that He wanted to bless me by using me to bless my husband and son with a love for cooking and by managing the responsibilities at home. Then I realized, that during all the struggles and challenges and pain and hurt of these transitions....God is always present and He's guiding me through. At first....I wasn't sure what to do with myself....God said....love me and I will show you. Serve me and your family....and I will bless you. Trust me....and I will never let you down.
So....now as I go through transitions....whether big or small....directly affecting me or indirectly affecting me....when I put my faith, trust, and hope in Him, he is victorious. There have been many transitions that I have gone through when I didn't put Him first or see him....those were the hardest and seemed to last the longest. So, I look at transitions like seasons....they are needed in order for new growth to happen. We see new life in the spring...it goes through the fires of summer, and begins to change in the fall....to finally die out in the winter....all for it to go through rebirth and become something new. How we weather those transitions.....will determine what the other side will look like.
I'm so thankful for transitions....and cannot wait for the next ones to come my way.
Much love to you all and I pray that when transition comes your way you will see that our amazing God is walking you right though it.
So....here we go.
If you were to look up on Wikipedia, transition, it would probably show you a picture of my family. We are people who seem to live in a state of constant transition. As a child of a military man, it was inevitable that we would move in order to be where the government needed my dad. So, from the get-go, life has always been a transition. But, it didn't really stop there....when my parents divorced my mom and I began this journey that would seem to be bring about transition over and over again. It was either in search for happiness, a better job, needing assistance from family/friends, or just to be closer to the ocean. My mom is a native Californian, so she needs her cement city close to the waves. But I digress.....That nomadic/transitional lifestyle, usually every 3 years, has continued on into my adulthood and is something that I actually enjoy. For me when we transition there is excitement in seeing new places, meeting new people, and beginning life with a new start. While that is exciting on one end....a part of me longs to have those friendships that have lasted for decades....those "I went to kindergarten with them, or they were my best friend in high school." And because we have transitioned so much, I can say, many of my friendships tend to be very season....which is one reason why I have not always embraced transitions. There have been times when I've kicked and screamed and threw a fit like a 3 year old when they haven't gotten that special toy they really want. Those transitions, I began to question God and almost felt like He had abandoned me. I felt alone. I had no one. But on the other side of that transition, I can say, He was saving me. Change is inevitable....transition for me brings change.....I can either embrace it or I can push against it. I determine what joy or pain I get in those transitions.
If I were to pin-point the most life changing transition that has happened in my life....I would say that it was in 2010 when my husband was called to go into a job that would take our family on the road for almost a full year. Each week we lived in a different city/state. Some states we were in for a 2-4 week period, but the city changed. So on Sunday's we would pack up our 5th wheel trailer and get everything situated for the long drive to the next city. Sometimes we would pull into a truck stop and sleep in trailer....which was a lesson in itself....when you don't have the most efficient tools to succeed...there can be frustration...we had a 5 gallon gas generator that would give us heat for about 5 hours...so, my husband had to wake up to change it out....good morning cold air!! Then we'd be up and back on the road to make it to our next destination. We'd get there, get the trailer all balanced and ready....we'd unpack the dishes (packed away so they didn't break during the drive), hung the TV back up, and pulled out the toys for our 3 year old. We'd get all situated and settled when it was time to get packed up again....usually 4 days later. Annnnndddd, we're off to another city. This may sound crazy, but there was some of that that we truly enjoyed. I enjoyed being able to see the different cities and check out the children's museums....explored the different foods and cultures....and all that seemed glamourous. So you may be asking why was this transition so life changing.....welllll....for those of you who know me...I have worked outside the home since I was around 14. When we were called to travel on the road, I was working full-time as a Children's Ministry Pastor for a church. Ministry was my life....my calling....my passion. But God chose that time to show me how my priorities were so out of balance. First of all....I transitioned from putting God after ministry and family....to now He's my first priority....don't get me wrong...I'm not perfect with this and there are days I don't give him my first....but He is my first. Then, I realized that He wanted to bless me by using me to bless my husband and son with a love for cooking and by managing the responsibilities at home. Then I realized, that during all the struggles and challenges and pain and hurt of these transitions....God is always present and He's guiding me through. At first....I wasn't sure what to do with myself....God said....love me and I will show you. Serve me and your family....and I will bless you. Trust me....and I will never let you down.
So....now as I go through transitions....whether big or small....directly affecting me or indirectly affecting me....when I put my faith, trust, and hope in Him, he is victorious. There have been many transitions that I have gone through when I didn't put Him first or see him....those were the hardest and seemed to last the longest. So, I look at transitions like seasons....they are needed in order for new growth to happen. We see new life in the spring...it goes through the fires of summer, and begins to change in the fall....to finally die out in the winter....all for it to go through rebirth and become something new. How we weather those transitions.....will determine what the other side will look like.
I'm so thankful for transitions....and cannot wait for the next ones to come my way.
Much love to you all and I pray that when transition comes your way you will see that our amazing God is walking you right though it.
